From “Kong” to “Cloverfield”: A Brief History of Gigantic Monsters
February 24, 2008
As I pointed out in my review of Cloverfield, the US just doesn’t do gigantic monsters very well. The following is presented to back my case.
King Kong (1933)—Possibly the only great giant monster with any charisma to come out of the US. He’s survived one atrocious remake and one not-so-bad remake. His movie still stands up 75 years later. Not bad for an 18-inch articulated puppet.
Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (1953)—It’s the classic story of boy-meets-girl, boy-loses-girl, boy-wins-back-girl. Only by “boy” I mean “sea monster” and by “girl” I mean “lighthouse foghorn” and by “wins-girl-back” I mean “destroys a major coastal city.”
Them! (1954)—Nuclear testing in New Mexico causes ants to mutant into viscous giant killer-ants. The movie’s a classic—even if the monsters have no charisma (they’re ants, not much chance for personality). The movie manages to play it completely straight, unfolding more like a mystery than a monster movie. Even the massive rod-controlled ants, when finally revealed, are pretty effective. I don’t know why no one remade this movie and I don’t want to know. I just hope they never do.
It Came from Beneath the Sea (1955)—Since it is a gigantic octopus, from beneath the sea is probably a safe guess as to where it came from. Fantastic stop-motion filmmaking by Ray Harryhausen. Even if he did only give the octopus five arms (pentapus?)
The Deadly Mantis (1957)—Eskimos accidentally wake up a slumbering, gigantic prehistoric praying mantis, which promptly goes on an orgy of destruction. Apparently, in the Mesozoic era they were the size of 747s and lived in the arctic circle—not exactly a lot of serious sci in this sci-fi movie. At the end the monster is felled by a poison gas attack. Brought to you by the era which also brought you smoking in hospitals, Thalidomide, and DDT.
Beginning of the End (1957)—Genetic engineering results in a race of super-huge locusts, which promptly attack the suburbs of Chicago (sure, why not?). Makes you wonder what the hell those geneticists were trying to accomplish, doesn’t it?
Earth vs. the Spider (1958)—And by Earth we mean a bunch of teenagers whose high school dance was ruined by the arrival of an enormous, superimposed tarantula.
The Giant Gila Monster (1959)—Nuclear tests in the desert cause a gila monster to become, well, giant. Ever wonder why nuclear blasts caused all these creatures to grow to giant proportions and not, you know, vaporize them?
Teenagers from Outer Space (1959)—It’s not the teenagers that are gigantic (though, they do all seem to be in their mid to late-thirties). No, it’s their kraken—the beasts they wish to unleash upon Earth. And to sate your curiosity, the kraken are giant lobsters that walk on their tails (not making this up). The teenagers don’t give a lot of explanation for the kraken—mostly they talk about tor-chure! (If you’ve seen the MST3K treatment of this film, you get the reference—or if you’ve responded to my Salon personals profile…)
Night of the Lepus (1972)—Giant mutated rabbits menace some ranchers out west. Memo to director William Claxman. Bill, if you’re still alive and reading this, giant rabbits are only scary if they’re anthropomorphic and menacing Jake Gyllenhaal.
Q: The Winged Serpent (1982)—Somehow the Aztec deity Quetzacoatl wakes up and terrorizes New York City. Some film critic, upon seeing the movie, shot a note to producer Samuel Z. Arkoff saying, “In the middle of all the dreck, there’s an incredible method performance by Michael Moriarty!” to which Arkoff replied, “The dreck was my idea.”
Godzilla (1998)—Oh sweet Jesus! How do you screw that up?
A giant prehistoric Arctic praying mantis? I must see this movie.
I love THEM. I was particularly excited a few years ago to see a Joyce Carol Oates book of the same name. I said to the graduate student reading the book, “I wonder what nuances Oates will tease out of the classic giant-mutant-ants-threaten-to-destroy-the-world story.” Alas, he had no knowledge of the movie and didn’t get my joke. Harrumph. Comp Lit majors!
Re: Night of the Lepus. The rabbit in Sexy Beast was pretty disturbing, too.
MamaAss’s first child, BabyAss, had a toy pentapus. Perhaps toy and model makers, like rabbits, can’t distinguish numbers above 5 (i.e., hrair).
I forgot about Sexy Beast. Yeah, a rabbit with an Uzi is indeed a disturbing thing. As far as the pentapus thing goes, I just assumed Ray charged the studio by the tentacle.