Admin Notes: I’m a big slacker, and a historic day!

Howdy,

So, first off an apology for my tardiness on continuing “Schlocktastic ’80s” week. The work-wife came out here to hunt giant monitor lizards for a week and she needed someone to act as a lure. So anyway, between trips to Lumpini Park and Bumrungrad Hospital, I got a little behind. Sorry about that. I’m working on the rest of it now.

Secondly, September 14th was a historic day here at The Flickering Screen. It was the first time any other post racked up more hits than “Let Us Pause and Appreciate Chicks Wearing Glasses.” Ever since “Glasses” was posted on 20 June 2008, it has been a juggernaut, easily outranking all other posts by about 300% And why not? Chicks in glasses are hot. The post that unseated it? My review of “Aztec Rex.”

So, basically this:

 

Was more popular than this:

Make of that what you will…

Jija Yanin has Swagger

I’m not a huge fan of martial arts flicks and have no idea who Jija Yanin is. On the basis of this trailer, though, I may just have to see this movie. If for no reason other than her swagger (at the end of the trailer–you’ll know it).

Garuda fights Naga underwater…with a machine gun: Understanding “Garuda” (or not)

So, after watching Garuda (and what a treat that was, make no mistake), I was left with some unanswered questions about the titular monster. I decided the best person to answer them would be Jaidee my loyal companion/noble savage, Tonto to my Lone Ranger, Haji to my Johnny Quest. So, I pulled her away from the task I’d given her that morning—transcribing my James Bond/A-Team crossover fan-fiction novel—to explain a little more about the Buddhist mythology surrounding the Garuda.

Ghosts, Angels, and Nang Mai: Understanding “Nymph”

So, I was talking with Jaidee, my underling and faithful companion—the Kato to my Green Hornet, if you will—and we came upon the subject of spirituality and the role of the supernatural in Thai culture. Well, sorta. It came up like this.

J: “So, you go the camera show this weekend? There many sexy girls there.”

Me: “Yeah, then I saw that movie Nang Mai.”

And that’s how I put some of Nang Mai in cultural context.

Is Netflix Getting Dumber?

I recently renewed my Netflix susbscription, and went back to the site for the first time in about nine months. Unsurprisingly, little had changed. That was okay, since Netflix had always been good to me. I did find, however, that the site seemed more insistent on recommending films that I might like. What was more, the weird, disembodied entity that was Netflix also seemed—on the basis of the recommendations–to have become much, much stupider than I remember. How stupid, you ask? Well, let’s take a look:

Seeing Movies in Siam

After a long year in the cinematic wilderness, fortune (and The Job) has seen fit to deposit me in a land that has actual, real, honest-to-God movie theaters. Not bootlegged DVDs played in a restroom-sized auditorium in the bowels of one of Saddam’s palaces. No, there are actual multiplexes, with concession stands and “Coming Soon” posters and previews, and ushers, and giggling teenagers, and metal detectors–okay, that last one is new, but still…

So here’s a thumbnail overview of my first movie-going experience in Bangkok:

An Open Letter to Olga Kurylenko…

Priviet Petrushka. Yes, I know that’s Russian and not Ukrainian, but it’s the best I can do. Hey, I’m just writing to let you know that, um, you know you’re a very attractive woman and, if given the opportunity, I would sleep with you without hesitation. I bring this up, not because I’m in the habit of using this blog to solicit sex, but because I thought you may need to hear that right about now. I mean—cards on the table: you’ve appeared in three movies in 2008 and haven’t managed to score in any of them. I just want you to know, it’s not about you. It’s them.

Another Trip Through the Wayback Machine: “Krull”

So, back during the summer of 1983, the world was awash in ads for the movie Krull. Being the little sci-fi geek I was, naturally I really, really wanted to see this movie. So did my friends. Somehow, though, we never managed to do it. You know, when you’re 11 you have to arrange for someone to give you a ride to the movie theater. It’s a big logistical mess. So the movie never quite had the longevity its creators hoped for and it disappeared from theaters pretty fast. Anyway, a couple weeks ago I saw the DVD in the store and realized that it was high time I filled in that Krull-shaped hole I’ve had in my life for the past 25 years.

An open letter to Marc Forster (or whomever)

What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? Whose fucking brilliant idea was it to re-arm Bond with the Walther PPK for this outing? No, really, I want names. I wanna know who I need to punch in the groin. Have you not been watching the past ten years of Bond films? He switched over to the Walther P99 ten years ago. And for good reasons, you cockbags.

Buggin’ out: “Starship Troopers 3: Marauder”

Paul Verhoeven’s Starship Troopers is considered by many cinephiles as one of the most misunderstood and maligned films of the past twenty years or so. I agree with the misunderstood part, and have no doubts that’s part of the reason why the movie tanked at the box office. Audiences (and studio execs) learned the hard way that if you want a rousing, brain-dead action movie, maybe a Euro-leftie misanthrope and his supreme-ironist writing partner aren’t the best guys to deliver it. Starship Troopers suckered audiences into the theater with promises of a special effects extravaganza featuring an interstellar war between humans and bugs only to be told, in essence, “these movies are crap, and, oh yeah, you’re a fascist for wanting to see it in the first place.”