The final final frontier: “Star Trek: Nemesis” (for Qui)
August 25, 2008Okay, kicking off Reader Request Week here at The Flickering Screen we have Star Trek: Nemesis for loyal reader Quiconque. Qui left a comment on my review of In the Spider’s Web stating: “if you’re willing to sacrifice a few more brain cells, I would greatly appreciate an analyisis of Star Trek: Nemesis, if only to have someone else explain the plot to me. I watched it last night on cable, and I saw a clone and a Deanna Troi rape scene plucked fresh from fanfic, but other than that I don’t know what happened.”
Well, a lot else happened, Qui, but none of it makes much sense. The whole Deanna/psychic-rape thing is just one example of the undercooked stew that is the (thus far) final entry in the Star Trek franchise. Nemesis was supposed to be a return to form after the underperformance of Star Trek: Insurrection released in 1998. The four-year hiatus between films should give you a sense of the trepidation Paramount was feeling toward its three-plus-decade old cash cow. They hired an (*cough*) accomplished action-movie director (Stuart Baird of U.S. Marshals) and commissioned a screenplay by an (*cough*) Oscar-nominated screenwriter (John Logan of Gladiator and The Last Samurai fame). They were asked to deliver a rousing, rollicking, action-packed finale to the Next Generation movies.
Nemesis begins at a point of transition for the USS Enterprise family. Riker and Troi are getting married and he’s taking command of a new starship. This is a nice touch and a tacit acknowledgement of the amount of time that has passed in the Next Generation universe. Then the plot kicks in and everything pretty much falls apart. A Romulan commander named Shinzon has staged a coup and overthrown the ruling council. He has a doomsday weapon and a big-ass starship (really a kitbashed version of the big-ass Dominion battleship from Deep Space Nine—way to knock yourself out, John Eaves) and he plans on destroying Earth, so Romulus can, you know, invade the Federation. Shinzon turns out to be a clone of Picard (kind of a snaggletoothed clone) who had been created in an abortive attempt to infiltrate the Federation. Shinzon’s dying, so he needs Picard’s blood or DNA or something to survive. He also grew up in Siberia-like work camp on Romulus’s twin world of Remus, which never gets sunlight and is populated by batpeople, and he’s real pissed off about that. So, Shinzon also wants to liberate the Reman people along with: 1) destroy earth, 2) topple the Federation, and 3) kidnap Picard and steal his blood (or DNA, or both).
Okay, we good so far? So, Shinzon invites the Enterprise to Romulus under the pretext of a diplomatic mission so he can steal Picard’s blood or whatever. He plans on doing this by utilizing an earlier model of Data, called B4, which the Enterprise discovers en route. And Shinzon develops a crush on Deanna Troi. And his number two—a big batperson played by Ron Perlman (the go-to guy for acting under heaps of laytex)—apparently can do this psychic thing where he grabs Shinzon’s head, and allows him to invade your mind. No, it’s not explained. And yes, Shinzon promptly mind-rapes Troi.
Well, it all boils down to Shinzon’s big-ass ship against the Enterprise-E. Say this for Baird, he made the Big E seem more dangerous that it has in earlier films. It has more phaser banks and torpedo tubes, which only makes sense since this movie takes place after the Dominion War (yeah, you know what I’m talking about). The Enterprise gets trashed, Data sacrifices himself to save the ship, and everyone lives happily ever after. The movie closes with Riker and Troi transferring to their ship, the Enterprise getting repaired, and hints that Data’s predecessor kind of taking his place. Way to undercut the emotional finale Logan and/or Baird.
Yay! Thank you. I managed to miss the part where they explained that Shinzon was a clone of Picard. (I was busy reading, trawling the internet for dates, and talking on the phone. No, this movie was not compelling). I knew Shinzon was a clone, but it didn’t occur to me that he was Picard’s clone, particularly because of his incongruous teeth. Did they explain them away as a symptom of his disease?
by Quiconque August 25, 2008 at 9:56 amI don’t know what was up with the teeth. Or his lack of Picard’s Shakespearian voice. he was a pretty crappy clone, when you get right down to it.
by GunMonkey August 25, 2008 at 11:45 amI didn’t quite understand the teeth either. If you have the resources and technology to build a big-ass spaceship, you can’t take a few minutes to take care of some orthodontic issues? Star Trek’s version of Earth totally looks like a place where everyone gets cosmetic dentistry.
by Ten Feet of Steel August 25, 2008 at 11:48 amAnd why is there no Rogaine in the 24th century?
by GunMonkey August 25, 2008 at 11:49 amWell, his DNA was deteriorating or something. So maybe that explains everything.
Patrick Stewart looks good bald. In fact, I’m pretty sure he would look less good with hair.
by Ten Feet of Steel August 25, 2008 at 8:17 pmYou can be so charmingly geeky sometimes.
by GunMonkey August 26, 2008 at 9:41 amPatrick Stewart’s head is too big for hair.
by Quiconque August 26, 2008 at 2:14 pmHis head is also very pointy.
by Ten Feet of Steel August 26, 2008 at 10:01 pm